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Being in love is a powerful experience unlike anything else. It's an altered state in which people think and act very differently than usual.


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Infidelity is any emotional or sexual intimacy that violates trust. Here are five facts that are important for married people to know about infidelity. Affairs happen for many reasons — we commonly hear:.

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MY husband and I have been together for 12 years. We talk throughout the day. We like each other a lot in addition to being in love.

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We plan to be together for the rest of our lives. I feel profoundly lucky.

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Yet one night this summer when my husband was out of town, a male friend stopped by for a drink. After our second drink, I kissed him. He started to kiss me back, and then stopped. The strange thing, though, is that my husband would not have objected.

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My husband and I are monogamous. Maybe it would be different if I had taken advantage of this freedom by going further than kissing a couple of other people in the past decade, or if I had ever lied to anyone, or if I tended to develop overwhelming feelings for other men. That did happen once before we were married; my We can t be just friends on a co-worker ended up being miserable for all of us.

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But as a rule, being honest about this has made us feel like more of a team, and even improved our sex life. The cuckolding fetish has an element of surprise, along with a bittersweet emotional masochism.

You may call it cheating, but we don’t

Another key to the fetish, from the perspective of the cuckold, is that of eroticizing as a defense mechanism. I slept my way around Europe as a teenager, and am sometimes wistful for the ability to leave situations the second they became complicated. To me, countries and boyfriends were similar.

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Because of this, my husband has at times fretted that I might leave him. What should he do with that anxiety?

9 excuses you'll hear from cheating men

Meanwhile, what should I do with my attraction to other men, especially to this one handsome friend? I knew the technically proper route: I should have pushed him out of my life as soon as I realized I was drawn to him.

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And yet, being married Brother sister marriage someone who likes that you want other people and that they want you muddles the question of whether to have that late-night drink. If the goal of Datsun dogs for sale extramarital temptation is to protect your marriage, but you have been led to believe that occasionally giving into temptation could be O. Years ago, my husband told me he had fallen in love with someone else.

He was deeply confused and scared by it. When he told me who it was, a co-worker, I felt as if I had been shot.

Five truths every married person needs to know about affairs

I broke things. I threw him out. He ended the affair. One of the challenges in a marriage, in addition to deciding Horny women in San Jose California job it is to do the dishes and how to balance the budget, is to figure out how to deal with lust or love for other people.

Sometimes people have sex!

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Snarkiness aside, he had a point: if cheating is so common research puts it at 40 to 76 percent of marriageswhy are we so surprised and scandalized by it? Some married friends of mine have a no-tell policy.

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Some of these friends have had affairs they plan on taking to their graves. Other couples I know have had flings and then confessed without imploding their marriages. Among those that did split, it was typically because they had lost touch with each other, and affairs were one result.

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Of course, infidelity can lead to indifference, because it distracts you from your partner. That was the argument made by two of my closest friends. One said I should think more about the feelings of the other man.

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I think it happens every day, these infidelities, but there is a cost. A lot of people, including me, would pass on the hot encounter to avoid getting hurt. But maybe salvation is possible after such lapses in judgment. When I look at old diaries, I see a pattern going back to sixth Top 10 online dating sites in germany attraction comes on like a flu.

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Then, eventually, the fever breaks. That night of the illicit kiss with my friend, it got late fast.

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Before I knew it, he and I had had drinks and snacks and covered a million topics, including the most obvious one, our mutual attraction. Which led to the kiss. In that moment, I thought: But I am Uranium-thorium dating accuracy. Not for marriage.

Timeline of a love affair

Not to be your girlfriend. But for something else? But on that night, I was.